Marriage

Kids or Spouse First?

I recently posted a link to a blog on 10 Most Important Marriage Tips for Wives. To my surprise, the one that received the most negative comments was this one [slightly abridged as noted]:

"God, husband, kids…in that order. - I know this isn't a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. . . . [Y]our husband should come before your kids. Now . . . no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane . . . , passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts."

To me this is absolutely a no-brainer (and goes for husbands too, of course). I now know the author is right "this isn't a popular philosophy." But am I and the author really wrong here, and can anyone explain to me why? This seems so basic and essential to me that I can't fathom what the alternate rationale could be.

din3500psi wants your take on these quandrees too.

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