Back In The Dating Game

I don't know that I have an actual "type" in men, except that I do want someone tall and somewhat fit and good looking. But now that I'm in my forties I wonder if I need to just grown the hell up and look beyond the surface. I've read some research recently indicating that attractive women are better off with much less attractive men, for a number of "scientific" reasons. Do I consider myself an attractive woman? Yes. Have I ever dated significantly less attractive men? No. Should I try?

Uneven Christmas gifts

My girlfriend bought me a massive gift for christmas. Over $1000. She says its for our anniversary, christmas and my birthday all in one, but I know her and she'll just buy me more stuff. I can't afford to match it. What should I get her?

Tinder Thanksgiving

So. It happened. I actually did meet someone nice through Tinder. I've only been on it a few weeks, but the guy has turned out to be quite decent and we have been out on two dates already. He is a bit older than I am and both his parents are deceased. He has no children. He has no siblings. I admit part of my connection to him is that I find him to be a kind and caring person despite being so alone with no real family around him. And so I want to invite him to Thanksgiving. But the thing is, I'm not hosting Thanksgiving this year. My children and I are actually going to a friend's home to share it with them. I'm making a few dishes to bring with me, and we are having a potluck Friendsgiving this year. I thought maybe if I invited my Tinder guy that it would be a good test run to see how my friends and kids are around him and vice versa...without telling everyone "hey this is my new boyfriend"? Thoughts?

Texting But No Telephone

I went ahead and downloaded Tinder, even though I’m not officially divorced yet. But I’ve been separated for almost a year and I figure that’s good enough. I have no intention of reconciling, so in theory…I’m as single as they come. I’ve had a few men I’ve “matched” with and I’ve started chatting regularly with one of them. It’s strange though, he never wants to talk on the phone even though we have each other’s telephone numbers. He prefers to just text. I asked him why and he said he just doesn’t like talking on the phone because he’s on the phone all day for work. I guess I can understand that. But the cynic in me is suspicious. I thought maybe he was married or in a relationship and maybe cheating. But his story seems to check out. He is single. We haven’t made plans to meet up or anything. I find myself I’m wondering if the whole “no telephone conversations” thing is something I should really be worried about?

To Tinder Or Not To Tinder

I’ve been separated for almost a year now. And I’m ready to file for divorce. During this time I haven’t been dating at all or anything, and honestly I haven’t been interested in it. I’ve been busy settling into this new phase of my life of having my own place, and caring for my children above all else. But a lot of people I know have been pressuring me to start dating again. I tell them no, not until I’m good and ready - if ever. But lately, I have to admit, I've been thinking about downloading Tinder. I know it has a reputation for just being a place to look for sex. But maybe that’s all I need right now? I don’t know. I don’t know what it is I want. But it couldn’t hurt to try Tinder and see what’s out there, right?

Go for a long distance relationship?

I got out of a long-term relationship less a year ago, and I've been dating casually until recently. I didn't see myself settling down with anyone anytime soon. Then a met someone. Yup, that someone who makes you question a lot of your stances when it comes to relationships.

Issue is that he lives on the opposite coast. We manage to talk every day despite the time differences, and we are clearly attracted to each other. We've even told each other so, but we decided to "go with the flow". His plan is to get a job on the same coast I am, but still a good 2 hour flight away, and after getting to a more stable place, pursue something.

I've always had a thing against long distance relationships, since the last one I had was unsuccessful, but he's somehow making me wonder if things can work out. So far, we have a plan to see each other in January, but just maintain status quo (friends but a little more than friends). What should I do?

My boyfriend doesn't like my favorite restaurant.

I've been going to the same Japanese restaurant every year for my birthday since I was fourteen (let's just say it's been over a decade of birthdays). I love the food, but even more, I love the staff and atmosphere. Every time I go into that restaurant I'm greeted by the woman who owns it, a few of the chefs, and a couple members of the waitstaff. It's like a second home, almost. I tried introducing my boyfriend to the place and he didn't match my level of enthusiasm. He acted weird through the whole meal and when we got in the car I asked him what that matter was. He said he thought it was strange how friendly everyone was and that the food was subpar. I don't think he was trying to be rude, but it did hurt my feelings. Now, my birthday is coming up and I don't want to break my tradition, but I also don't want to have another uncomfortable dinner with my boyfriend. What should I do?

My BF is moving to NY, but I'm not.

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now – some casually, some not – and things are going really well with the exception of one hitch. He's moving to New York at the end of the month and I'm staying where I am. I don't feel this way very often and in an ideal world we'd stay together, but I don't know if it's in the cards. We haven't really talked at all about our feelings or what's going to happen when he goes. I think we're both avoiding the topic because we know it won't be easy to talk about. He's starting a new job and I'm working on building my freelance career so we both have a lot going on outside of the relationship. It's definitely too early to up and move with him, but because I freelance I'm pretty mobile. Because the relationship is so new it just might be easier to call it a day than try and make it work long distance. I'm not sure what to do.

I think he's cheating, but what if he isn't?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months now, exclusively for three. He works at a coffee shop with this girl that he was seeing casually before he even met me. We've talked about it a little bit, but he assured me that what they had was just a fling and it's definitely over. I want to believe him, but he gets really weird when I talk about visiting him at work. He says I would "distract him" even when I suggested I come in during a slow hour. He's also very secretive about his phone, which almost feels too cliche to be a red flag. He never opens texts when he's around me and takes his phone with him whenever he leaves the room. Should I be worried about this girl from work or am I just paranoid? I don't want to mess things up by accusing him of something he didn't actually do.

Do # of dates/time assume relationship status?

I recently had two of my friends get into an argument about their relationship. They had been going out for I think 3 months or so at that point. The problem was one of the partners was still seeing other people whereas the other had stopped. One of them asked me directly where you draw the "exclusive" line, if at all, if you haven't talked about it formally. An interesting conundrum to me because I never thought about it.

Relationships are not always cut and dry where two people like each other and then live happily ever after. People want different things, I understand that. But, in this instance, should the friend who continued seeing other people had stopped at a certain point by default, or should the one who wanted it to be exclusive have said something?

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