Casual vs. Committed

When do you consider a new relationship to have moved from casual to committed? I'm never quite sure, unless the guy brings it up, when it stops being acceptable to date other people. I wouldn't want to hurt someone, thinking we weren't committed if he thought we were, but I also wouldn't want to bring up commitment too early in the process of getting to know someone.

Move on to date or date to move on?

The last couple of months for me have been arduous, to say the least. Probably the most intrinsic part of this has been the struggle between my ex and my new gal. A couple of months ago, I started dating someone around the same time my ex did; and we are still friends somewhat. My ex and I had a three-year relationship, two of which were serious, the last in which we were "friends" but our behavior didn't exactly change so- yes, three years. One day, out of the blue, she tells me she's seeing someone. It was coincidence that we both had found someone around the same time but, I was hesitant about my next endeavor whereas she (personal opinion) STUPIDLY started talking about marriage and the future within barely a month of meeting this new guy. Never mind the details but, the thing is, this happened all so fast and I feel like something got ripped out of me. One minute, my ex is here, a person I care deeply about, and the next, she was gone, and I have this stranger, by comparison, where she used to be.

So all the while, the last 4 months I have been struggling with strong feelings for my ex while seeing this other girl BUT, I am not going to enter a state of denial because she very well may end up with this guy; who knows? So, I'm doing my best to move on with the new girl, trying to suppress any thoughts about my ex along the way. In no way is this new girl a rebound but, I don't want to ruin this relationship over the remains of an old one. I could easily tell her that I have feelings for my ex but, I know that the chances of my ex and I getting back together at this point have all but vanished and I refuse to be hung up on her and am giving someone else a real chance. So far, nothing has affected the new relationship. But, on the other hand, I feel like the right thing would have been to give myself a bit of time before dating again. Which do you think is the better choice?


Society has always deemed bisexuality in women to be exciting and sexy while bisexuality in men is something taboo and "wrong." I've always considered myself an open-minded woman, especially when it comes to freedom in sexuality. I experimented and tried virtually everything there is to try in my twenties and thirties but consider myself heterosexual but flexible. But now in my forties I've met a man that I have amazing chemistry with, and he's opened up to me that he's bisexual and always has been but never came "out." So he has always had sex with men secretly even when in long-term relationships with women. But he wants to be honest with me because he sees a future with me. I'm not quite sure how to move forward...

Sex On The First Date

So. After not talking on the telephone but just chatting on whatsapp for THREE MONTHS, I know I know, I finally met up with the "Texting But No Telephone" guy. And...our first date was great! It turns out that just texting/messaging for three months actually helped us get to know each other really well. And it felt like we'd known each other for a long time by the time we finally went out this weekend. So first of all, thank you to those of you who advised me not to just write him off. My question now is...he and I had sex, and technically it WAS the first date though it felt like we've known each other longer, so...should I have waited? I'm a grown woman in her forties and I feel like I'm in my twenties again doubting everything!

To Speak or Not to Speak

I met someone a little over a year ago, we started bonding fairly quick. Playing video games & watching movies together online pretty regularly. As we are in different states this is our only means to connect other than calling/texting. Many people had speculated we might be dating & have asked me such questions which my answer was "No, I don't feel that way about them." I mean we had just met and are really friendly. 6 months go by... We have met in person, gotten to know each other more & most importantly are comfortable enough with one another to talk about Values, Ideals, Bodily Schedules, & Health. So one evening while chatting I begin to ask about what Long Distance Relationship's meant to them and we both had come to the same viewpoint of "They are not for me." as we both have had issues in this area of dating, so I didn't pursue(not wanting to lose a friend). About a couple weeks later I get a message talking about an interest at distance but I know is not me from the wording.

So my question then becomes "Do I tell her how I feel?" in light of this new and quite unexpected news, What would you do about it?
*side note* At first I was clueless to the fact I may like them. Turns out I do, very much so but we are very similar and they may have been oblivious to my advancements as I am with others.

Back In The Dating Game

I don't know that I have an actual "type" in men, except that I do want someone tall and somewhat fit and good looking. But now that I'm in my forties I wonder if I need to just grown the hell up and look beyond the surface. I've read some research recently indicating that attractive women are better off with much less attractive men, for a number of "scientific" reasons. Do I consider myself an attractive woman? Yes. Have I ever dated significantly less attractive men? No. Should I try?

Uneven Christmas gifts

My girlfriend bought me a massive gift for christmas. Over $1000. She says its for our anniversary, christmas and my birthday all in one, but I know her and she'll just buy me more stuff. I can't afford to match it. What should I get her?

Tinder Thanksgiving

So. It happened. I actually did meet someone nice through Tinder. I've only been on it a few weeks, but the guy has turned out to be quite decent and we have been out on two dates already. He is a bit older than I am and both his parents are deceased. He has no children. He has no siblings. I admit part of my connection to him is that I find him to be a kind and caring person despite being so alone with no real family around him. And so I want to invite him to Thanksgiving. But the thing is, I'm not hosting Thanksgiving this year. My children and I are actually going to a friend's home to share it with them. I'm making a few dishes to bring with me, and we are having a potluck Friendsgiving this year. I thought maybe if I invited my Tinder guy that it would be a good test run to see how my friends and kids are around him and vice versa...without telling everyone "hey this is my new boyfriend"? Thoughts?

Texting But No Telephone

I went ahead and downloaded Tinder, even though I’m not officially divorced yet. But I’ve been separated for almost a year and I figure that’s good enough. I have no intention of reconciling, so in theory…I’m as single as they come. I’ve had a few men I’ve “matched” with and I’ve started chatting regularly with one of them. It’s strange though, he never wants to talk on the phone even though we have each other’s telephone numbers. He prefers to just text. I asked him why and he said he just doesn’t like talking on the phone because he’s on the phone all day for work. I guess I can understand that. But the cynic in me is suspicious. I thought maybe he was married or in a relationship and maybe cheating. But his story seems to check out. He is single. We haven’t made plans to meet up or anything. I find myself I’m wondering if the whole “no telephone conversations” thing is something I should really be worried about?

To Tinder Or Not To Tinder

I’ve been separated for almost a year now. And I’m ready to file for divorce. During this time I haven’t been dating at all or anything, and honestly I haven’t been interested in it. I’ve been busy settling into this new phase of my life of having my own place, and caring for my children above all else. But a lot of people I know have been pressuring me to start dating again. I tell them no, not until I’m good and ready - if ever. But lately, I have to admit, I've been thinking about downloading Tinder. I know it has a reputation for just being a place to look for sex. But maybe that’s all I need right now? I don’t know. I don’t know what it is I want. But it couldn’t hurt to try Tinder and see what’s out there, right?