Do you list your preffered pronouns?

When I first saw people posting their preferred pronouns, it was a bit of a shock to me. My brain immediately thought "that is so stupid, why do I need to do that?" To me, it was obvious. . .I am a man, so you can call me male pronouns. Then, I heard some podcasts that reinforced this idea, talking about how crazy it was that we have something like 60 gender pronouns now. So it was cemented in my thinking that this was some fad of a generation that I was out of touch with and did not have any interest in trying to comprehend.
But, I have come around. What I realized is that yes, for me it is obvious, I am a man with a beard. But for others it may not be, and for some they will regularly be misidentified. So, I am now considering adding my pronouns. Not for myself, but to make it more 'normal' in society for the sole reason that it means that those who do not fit nicely into one category will not feel like outsiders, will not have a red flag on their backs. It is about changing pubic perception, not about keeping with my preconceived notions.
Where do you currently stand on this issue?

To be chivalrous on the subway?

I was raised to always say please and thank you, hold the door open for folks, and things like that. Basic respect I guess. So, when I am on the subway and I see young men sitting down looking at their phones while women and elderly people stand, it upsets me. But, when I commented about this on facebook I got back a bunch of hateful comments about how I was being sexist by assuming that women should be given a seat over men. I didn't see it that way, I just think about my mom and what she taught me, and that if she was on that train I would hope someone would give up their seat to let her have a rest.
So, am I just old fashioned or what?

Is open carry 'cool'?

It seems every yokel with an AK wants to go show it off at Walmart these days in open carry states. But people I have talked to who were in the special forces laugh at them and say that open carry leaves you more likely to be the victim than the hero. That its better to keep your gun hidden for both tactical and social reasons. Do you agree?

Wierd yelling. . .

So for the last few months, if I go out int he early evening I hear someone in my neighborhood moaning. It reminds me a bit of the guy from 'The Goonies'. I live in the mountain, so the houses are spread out and we don't really interact with our neighbors often. But I cannot figure out what is going on. . .half of me wants to yell for them to shut up already, but another part of me worries that it could be somebody with a mental disability or something. If its a normal person I want to say something, but I also don't want to look like a jerk if it is someone with problems, what would you do?

Advice From Strangers

I've been using Quandree for the past several months and have asked for advice repeatedly on the site. Sometimes I end up following that advice and other times I just decide I don't like the advice I've been getting and decide to do whatever I want anyway. I'm curious to know how many people on here actually follow the advice offered by strangers, how often they end up ignoring it and doing whatever they were originally thinking of doing anyway.

Broke single mom + rich single woman = friends?

Short version: We were roommates in college and had some good times together, after which our path diverged entirely. She inherited millions, globetrotted, bought rambling homes, enjoyed romances and literally never worked a day in her life. I worked hard to pay off tens of thousands in student debt, bought a rundown fixer-upper and fixed it myself, became a single mom at 38 and continue to work long hours in my chosen field. We're both now 40 and we've been out of touch for several years, largely because I was tired of feeling like the "poor relation." During our friendship, she would insist on going to fancy restaurants that I could never afford, and then paying the bill; staying at hotels I could never afford, and then paying the bill; I once brought my homemade wine for her to try, and she instead opened a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape (an $100 bottle). She has even said condescending things about poor people in front of me. Anyway, she has now reached out for a Christmas visit. My instinct is to say no, we're just too different, and frankly I have been quite enjoying life with other people in my "lower" class. What would you do?

Thin Walls

When I moved into new apartment back in February, I didn't realize the place had SUCH thin walls. I've pretty much gotten used to it now, and I'm even more careful about my own noise levels. But lately I've been hearing my elderly neighbor crying a lot, especially late at night. I don't mind it so much because it's not a wailing cry, but more of a very sad and deep heavy cry. It actually sometimes brings me to tears myself because I'm going through some tough times myself. Sigh. But when I see this particular neighbor in the elevator or on the street she looks so happy and chipper while she walks her dog. But I guess we all hide our sadness to the outside world. But I do see the sadness in her eyes despite her strong facade. The question is...should I ask her, just as a friendly neighbor and fellow human being, if she's ok? Should I mention that I hear her cries at night and if she wants she can confide in me? Or is that creepy?! I don't want to be creepy. But I do have a soft spot for old people...

Is Christmas the ONLY holiday?

It's a pretty obvious observation to many that Christmas seems to be at the forefront of company marketing very early on every year. In fact, I have seen Christmas advertisements as early as August. I can't be the only one that is frustrated with the utter disrespect of other popular holidays during the big season; particularly Halloween and Thanksgiving. Corporate influence isn't everything though, but it ruins the atmosphere for each respectful holiday for me. I'll go into a grocery store looking for Halloween candy and see a bunch of chocolate Santas. I'll shop online and a snowflake encrusted banner will slide across my screen. If I want to walk outside on the first day of November, I'll have to try not to trip on all the Christmas lights.

And that is just where it starts, obviously. I feel that it has spurred an entire social discourse where we are assumed to prepare for "our favorite" joyful, cheery, fa-la-la-la-longest running holiday way in advance, leaving the others feeling rather unimportant. I don't know what it is; maybe it's because I feel that my childhood is being stepped on. But, I can't be the only one who feels this way, right? I believe every month should coordinated with it's respectful holiday: ambience, material goods, events, etc. It certainly used to be that way but, it has changed drastically as of late. So, what do you think? Am I alone here or is it really not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be?

Mixed Signals Or Not

There’s a mom at my kids’ school who I’ve known for years now, because our oldest kids went to the same daycare as babies. I’ll call her Betty.

Well, I don’t particularly trust Betty as a friend, but I don’t mind keeping her around as an acquaintance. She’s one of the mean moms at school and I’ve always done a pretty good job at keeping her at arm’s length. Even my oldest never asks to have playdates with her oldest. We just don’t match even after all these years. Betty even made a remark recently that she thinks I’m avoiding her. Yikes. But Betty is now pregnant with her fourth child, and I’ve always given her baby gifts over the years because that’s just who I am and I do love shopping for baby items since my own kids are no longer babies.

My question is though, am I sending her mixed signals if I buy her a baby gift for her fourth kid? Should I just not? Or is that also weird since I’ve bought gifts for all her other baby births?

Wedding fund in lieu of gifts: Tacky or practical?

Since my partner and I are financing our wedding, we’re being very mindful of expenses. We really don’t need wedding gifts, but just pitching in for the wedding itself would be really helpful. Is it tacky to delicately mention a wedding fund in lieu of gifts? I don’t think this is different from a registry, but I’m not sure of the etiquette here. Our dream is to have something super casual with our wide circle of friends, but we can't do this without the guests pitching in a little bit for open bar and food expenses.