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Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Transvestite Spouse
My husband sometimes dresses as a woman. It relaxes him and makes him happy, and I'm fine with it. However, he sometimes gets upset about it, worrying that he's crazy or a freak.
I want to suggest therapy, but I'm concerned that might offend him. I'm also worried we can't find a neutral therapist; they'll pressure him into either stopping what he's doing or doing it more often, depending on their biases. I want him to choose for himself.

Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Tired of Drinking
My husband is by no means an alchaholic, only drinking once or twice a month, but whenever he gets drunk he get's extreamly sensitive and annoyingly over exaggerative. There were points where I've had to lock myself in a room just to get away from the nonsense. I could refuse a high-five and he'd take it as a personal attack (tears may ensue). It's annoying to say the least. It could defintley be worse, I think it's because he doesn't drink too often so he doesn't know his limits. There are points where I've made him vow never to drink again (which is eventually lifted). I can't handle him after a few many but I also don't want to babysit him. Ideas?
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Same thing happens with my husband when he drinks. I completely get how annoying it can be. I’ve locked myself in the other room to sleep.
I would talk to hubby and come to an agreement, when he drinks either 1. you go out and visit friends or 2. you will not respond or talk to him while drinking at all !!!
Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
How to handle the TV Hog?
My husband is a sports reporter who works from home. Every time I come home sports are on the TV. This would be fine, except he's a football reporter and it's not always football. I know there's a quick answer to this, but I'm not paying for another TV and paying for the cable. Plus, we'd have nowhere to put it. I just want to watch my shows but sometimes it's hard to get him to turn it off. What do I do?
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Well I would say 40 hrs week, including his actual reporting, the rest of the 40 hrs week he can watch TV, but when you are home, and are ready to settle for TV time, it is YOUR turn.
Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Separation versus Divorce
I’ve been separated from my husband now for a year, and I feel like the time has just flown by. Usually they say that time flies when you’re having fun. Well, I haven’t been having much fun. Sure, I am happier and more at peace living on my own, but does that constitute “fun?” Whether it does or not, does the fact that the time has flow so fast really mean that I’m better off without him? I've gotten lots of advice from both married people and divorced people, and my head hurts from all the differing opinions. But I do know that I don’t miss him, per se. Sure, I miss things about being in a relationship and the good times we shared, but I don’t really miss him specifically in my daily life. What does that say about me and our marriage? Is it time to divorce?
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Divorce is hard. Push through it. Your reward awaits at the end when you find the right one.
Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Juggling school and family
A few months ago I decided to go back to school. Because I am paying my own way I am required to work 40 hours a week as well as the 20 + hours of work and being a functioning part of my little family (my husband and I). I'm trying really hard to make sure I give everything the attention it deserves but it's difficult to balance three things that all requie 100% of my attention. I want to make sure I'm not falling behind but I need a break. Where should I cut myself some slack?
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School is short lived, and is a commitment. Better to focus and get it done right. You and your family will reap the benefits.
Don't slack off on school, or you'll end up dropping out or doing poorly, in which case the sacrifice was a waste. See if you can cut back slightly at work, and ask your husband to be understanding of how busy and stressed you are. It's temporary.
Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Volunteering at School
I do all of the volunteering at my child's school, but recently I got a part time job. Now that I am working, I don't have as much time to volunteer so I asked my husband to do some volunteering. He doesn't want to and says I do enough for us both. I think it would show the kids he is invested in their education if he did something to volunteer.
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My question here is, does your husband have a job too? Is it a full-time job? If the answer to both is, "yes," it may be understandable that he doesn't want to take on extra work by volunteering at the school. If your concern is that he should show that he is involved in his kids' education, he'd do just as well to read them a bedtime story, go to parent-teacher conferences, take them to a museum on a Saturday, and help them with their homework without belittling them for getting a wrong answer.
You can't force someone to volunteer. If you can't do it then you can't do it. As long as he's helping around at home with homework etc. then let it go...
Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
Buying my husband gifts
I have 3 occasions where I need to buy a gift for my husband that are very close together. We are on a tight budget so I always feel stressed buying him a gift. Should I just go ahead and splurge even though money is limited? I can always charge it, it's just more to pay off later.
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Ask America Inc.
Oakland, California 94661
admin@quandree.com
510-338-0000
My husband is sawing logs
My husband is a very loud snorer and it disturbs my sleep. For many years we have slept in separate rooms because whenever we sleep in the same bed I always have poor sleep. Should I continue doing this or should I try and find other ways to sleep well with him in the same bed so we are closer?
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